史蒂夫·哈维脱口秀- 如何不把男人吓跑? How NOT To Scare Men Away

- Today, I'm gonna help out two best friends in their thirties who say that they're strong and confident and they wanna know how to talk to a man without intimidating 'em.

今天，我要帮助两位三十多岁的闺蜜 —— 她们自称坚强自信，但想知道如何与男性交谈而不让他们感到威胁。

Well, it's time for, "This Is How You Do It".

好吧，到了“这就是你的做法”时间了。

(audience applauds) - Please welcome Jess and Noni.

（观众鼓掌）请欢迎杰斯和诺妮。

(audience applauds) - What's up everybody?

（观众鼓掌）大家好！

Thank you, thank you.

谢谢，谢谢。

- So Jess, why do you think men are intimidated by you?

- 所以杰斯，你认为男人为什么会觉得你很唬人？

- Well, Steve, I know men are intimidated by me, because I know exactly what I want and I'm super-funny, normally funnier than they are.

- 好吧，史蒂夫，我知道男人会被我吓到，因为我清楚自己想要什么， 而且我超级搞笑，通常比他们还要搞笑。

And that's kind of intimidating to a man.

这有点吓到男人了。

- Okay, so Noni, is she telling the truth?

- 好吧，诺妮，她说的是真的吗？

- I agree.

- 我同意。

But there's other parts.

但还有其他部分。

I think that a lot of it is a wall that she puts up.

我认为这很大程度上是她建立的一道防线。

So, she's trying to protect her heart.

所以，她是在试图保护自己的心。

- This wall that you put up, would it happened to be this super-funny persona?

- 你筑起的这道墙，莫非就是这个超级搞笑的人设？

- Usually that's what it is.

- 通常就是这样的。

I'm so super-hilarious.

我真是超级搞笑。

Guys don't know how to handle it.

男人们不知道该如何应对。

- Really?

-真？

- Yeah, that's what it is.

- 是的，就是这样。

- Okay, Noni, tell me what's going on with your dating life.

- 好了，诺妮，告诉我你的恋爱生活怎么样了。

- There's nothing going on, because it doesn't exist.

- 没有什么事情发生，因为那根本不存在。

I'm just focused.

我就是专注。

I got my career and then I do music.

我有我的事业，然后我还做音乐。

And so, if you're not really chasing behind me every minute, then I just don't even see you.

所以，如果你不是每分钟都追着我，那我就根本没看到你。

- What type of guys does Noni normally date?

诺妮通常约会哪种类型的男生？

- Younger.

-年轻。

As long as they're younger, she's all about it.

只要他们比她年轻，她就完全没问题。

She usually is into guys that are 20, 21 and can't really make it into the bar- - No, he's got to be able to buy alcohol.

她通常喜欢20、21岁的男生，但这样的年纪往往进不了酒吧——不，他得能买酒才行。

He's gotta be able to get in the club.

他得能进得了夜店。

- He's gotta be able to buy.

他得能买得起。

- He's gotta be able to get in the club.

- 他得够酷才能进夜店。

- That's a requirement of yours?

- 这是你的要求吗？

- No.

-不。

- 21-year-olds don't know what they want.

- 21岁的人不知道自己想要什么。

- And if you're 21 before you got hurt or something.

- 而且如果你在21岁之前就受伤了或者怎么样。

- And you can hold the- - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- 你可以拿着这个—— - 哇，哇，哇，哇，哇，哇，哇，哇，哇，哇，哇，哇，哇。

You all are trading this information between the two of you.

你们俩在互相传递这些信息。

You ain't running this by nobody else.

你不用跟别人商量这件事。

- We keeping it real.

- 我们保持真实。

We keeping it real.

我们保持真实。

- You're keeping it real.

- 你很真实。

- We're keeping it real.

- 我们保持真实。

- But here's what I'm just seeing right off the top.

- 但这里是我一眼就能看出来的。

I think, I just think, darling, I think the jokey, jokey is the wall, the protection device.

我想，我只是觉得，亲爱的，我觉得这种爱开玩笑的态度就是一面墙，一种防御机制。

So if they don't take you seriously I was just joking anyway.

所以如果他们不把你当回事，我本来就是在开玩笑呢。

- Ooh, see that?

- 哦，看到了吗？

- Okay, I can see that.

- 好吧，我明白这一点。

- You know what I mean?

- 你知道我的意思吧？

- I can see that.

- 我明白这一点。

There's a bit of honesty in there, but I play it off as a joke.

里面有点诚实，但我把它当作笑话来应付。

- Right, a little bit.

- 对，有点儿。

Have you ever thought just maybe just maybe that's not really who you really, really are?

你是否曾想过，或许那并非真正的你？

- Never, never.

- 绝不，绝不。

I really think that I use sarcasm as a way to deal with a lot of things in life- - Now, sarcasm is different from funny.

我真的认为我用讽刺作为一种应对生活中很多事情的方式——现在，讽刺和有趣是不同的。

- True.

-真。

- Sarcasm can be very rude at times.

讽刺有时会显得非常无礼。

- It can be.

- 是的，确实如此。

- That's different from comedy.

- 那和喜剧不一样。

Most guys, when you meet 'em, they're here to get to know you, not to discover how sarcastic you are, so that's- - And I push 'em away with that.

大多数男生， 当你遇到他们时， 他们是来了解你的，而不是发现你有多讽刺，所以——而我用这种方式把他们推开了。

- You push 'em away.

- 你把他们推开了。

So we're single.

所以我们是单身。

What do you think it is about her other than dating guys too young?

除了喜欢追太年轻的男生之外，你认为她还有哪里不对劲？

- Noni doesn't have enough time for a relationship.

- 诺妮没有足够的时间来维持一段感情。

She's always working or working on her music and she never has time to date, but yet wants to be in a relationship and you can't really have both.

她总是忙于工作或创作音乐， 从来没有时间约会，但却又想谈恋爱， 这两者她真的不能兼得。

- Oh, so let me understand this.

- 哦，这么说让我理解一下。

You wanna be in a relationship, you wanna man to run behind you, chase you, but you ain't got time for that.

你想谈恋爱， 希望有个男人追你、追求你，但你却没时间应付这些。

- That's what I'm saying he gotta be on my schedule.

这就是我想说的，他得配合我的时间表。

That's why he gotta run behind me.

那也就是为什么他得跟在我后面。

He's gotta make it flexible.

他得让它有弹性。

It is impossible, right, which is why I'm single.

这是不可能的，对吧？这就是为什么我还是单身。

- See what you need is a puppy.

你需要的其实是一只小狗。

(Noni and Jess giggle) All right, so this is what I'm gonna do ladies, 'cause I'm sincerely gonna try to help you out, because one of the things I've discovered with women who asked me why are men intimidated, if you were really this high level exec person or strong-willed woman, when you meet a man oftentimes the man is not intimidated.

（诺妮和杰斯咯咯笑）好了， 女士们，这就是我要做的事，因为我真心想帮你们一把。因为我发现， 当女性问我为什么男人会感到害怕时，如果你们真的是那种高层管理者或者意志坚强的女性，在遇到一个男人时， 很多时候那个男人其实并不会感到害怕。

Men don't get intimidated by women.

男人不会被女人吓到。

Sometimes men suffer from shame, because they don't have themselves together.

有时候，男性会因为自身的不成熟而感到羞愧。

- 'Cause they're not on my level.

因为他们不在我的水平线上。

- They're not on your level.

- 他们配不上你。

See y'all, you keep knocking men down when that's really not the case.

大家知道吗，你们总是在贬低男性，但实际上并非如此。

It ain't that they not on your level, it's just that maybe they haven't achieved what they wanna achieve in their life.

不是他们配不上你，只是他们可能还没达到自己生活中的目标。

- That's true.

- 这是真的。

- Or where they want to be.

- 或者他们想去的地方。

Ain't no man intimidated.

没有男人会被吓到。

I just gotta tell y'all that.

我得跟你们说一声。

Y'all need to stop thinking you did intimidated a man.

你们得停止以为自己吓到男人了。

- [Jess] Okay.

- [杰斯] 好的。

(audience applauds) - We're gonna get into this.

（观众鼓掌）- 我们要开始啦。

When we come back, I'm gonna put you two guys Jess and Noni to a little test.

稍后回来，我要给你们两位——杰斯和诺妮，做个小测试。

I got an experiment for them that I wanna try.

我有个实验想试试对他们来说。

So don't go away.

别走开。

We go do it too when we come back.

我们回来时也去。

I wanna see how both of you are presenting yourself to men.

我想看看你们俩是如何向男性展示自己的。

So Daniel, come on over here.

所以丹尼尔，过来一下。

- Oh no.

- 哦不。

(funky music) - Now step on up man.

(酷炫的音乐) - 现在走上前来兄弟。

(audience applauds) Jess, you say men don't like women who are funnier than they are.

（观众鼓掌）杰斯，你说男人不喜欢比他们更搞笑的女性。

So how would you approach Daniel if you spotted him at a bar?

那么如果你在酒吧看到了丹尼尔，你会怎么接近他？

- Are you here for the escort?

- 你是来陪护的吗？

I know I'm late, I'm sorry, but we're gonna have a fun time tonight, I swear.

我知道我迟到了，对不起，但今晚我们会玩得很开心的，我发誓。

- That's awful.

- 太糟糕了。

That wasn't funny at all.

这一点都不好笑。

And you should never do that again in your life.

你这辈子再也不要这样做了。

Don't say that.

别这么说。

- No, really?

- 真的吗？

- Please.

-请。

- Even if I shake with my left hand.

- 即使我用左手颤抖。

- Gosh, security, can we get her escorted- - I give my left arm to be ambidextrous.

- 哎呀，保安，能让她被带出去吗？- 我宁愿变成双手灵便的人。

- This really isn't good.

- 这真的不太妙。

You should stop right now.

你应该马上停下来。

You're embarrassing yourself.

你这是在自取其辱。

- I see exactly why.

- 我完全明白为什么。

I see exactly why you ain't got nobody.

我完全明白你为什么一个人也没搞定。

- Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!

- 当，当，当，当，当！

Alone.

独自。

- That's the sarcasm.

- 那就是讽刺。

- Yes.

-是的。

- And the funny.

- 还有那幽默。

- It wasn't funny, but I tried.

- 这不搞笑，但我试过了。

- You would really say that to a person?

- 你真的会对一个人这么说？

- Probably be joking, yeah, I probably would.

- 大概会开玩笑吧，是的，我大概会。

- Why would you use that approach, let me just ask you?

- 你为什么要用那种方法，让我问一下好吗？

- I feel like I break the tension by being funny and using sarcasm.

- 我觉得我通过讲笑话和讽刺来缓解紧张气氛。

- You didn't realize how much tension you was creating.

- 你没有意识到自己制造了这么多紧张气氛。

- I was.

- 我是。

- You didn't- - With this individual, yes.

- 你没有…… - 跟这个人，是的。

- Thank you man.

- 谢谢你，伙计。

Just step back over there.

请退后一点。

- I'm done here.

- 我在这儿干完了。

I'm done, okay, we're good.

我受够了，好吧，我们没事了。

- Noni, now Jess says you tend to date guys in their twenties.

- 诺妮，现在杰斯说你倾向于和二十多岁的男生约会。

- Yes.

-是的。

- Okay.

-好。

- That happens.

- 这种情况会发生。

- Nikola, come on over.

- 尼古拉，过来一下。

(audience applauds) How're you doing?

（观众鼓掌）你怎么样？

- Hi, my name is Nikola.

- 嗨，我叫尼古拉。

- What's your name?

- 你叫什么名字？

.

.

- Noni.

-诺丽。

- Oh, cool.

- 哦，真酷。

Where are you from?

你来自哪里？

- Up north, Northern Cal.

- 北边，北加州。

- Oh, that's cool, that's nice.

- 哦，那挺好的，不错。

So yeah, I just recently graduated college and I'm back here.

所以是的，我刚从大学毕业，现在回来了。

I'm right now living in LA, living with my parents.

我现在住在洛杉矶，和父母一起住。

And I saw you from the bar and I really like you.

我在吧台看到了你，我真的很喜欢你。

Oh, I like kind of older woman.

哦，我喜欢年纪稍长的女性。

I hope you don't mind.

希望你不要介意。

(audience laughs) - Okay.

（观众笑声）- 好的。

- Okay, he in college.

- 好吧，他在上大学。

He staying with his mama.

他和妈妈住在一起。

- Oh.

-哦。

(audience laughs) He in college, he has aspirations, he on his way up.

（观众笑）他在上大学，有志向，正在往上爬。

- He in college, he has aspirations.

他在上大学，他有志向。

He told you he stay with his mama.

他跟你说他跟妈妈住在一起。

Why, are we still talking?

我们还在聊这个？

(Noni laughs) Thank you man.

（诺妮笑）谢谢你兄弟。

Let's try another round.

再来一轮试试。

Stefan, come on over here.

斯特凡，过来一下。

Step right up here.

请走到这边来。

(audience applauds) - Hi.

（观众鼓掌）- 你好。

- Hi.

-你好。

- How're you doing mama?

- 你怎么样，妈妈？

- I'm doing well, how are you Stefan?

- 我挺好的，斯特凡，你怎么样？

- Good, good, tell me about you.

- 好，好，跟我说说你自己的情况。

You got any kids?

你有孩子吗？

- No, not yet.

- 还没有。

Why you trying to make some?

你这是在试图装呢？

- You want some?

- 你要来点吗？

Well, we can cut today short right now.

好吧，我们可以现在就提前结束今天的节目。

- I do, I want 4 or 5, what's up?

- 我单身，我想找4个或5个，咋了？

- Yeah?

- 是的？

- Yeah, I want 4 or 5.

- 嗯，我想要4个或5个。

You can handle five kids?

你能搞定五个孩子？

- You want 4 or 5?

你要4个还是5个？

- Yep.

-是的。

- I can handle making them.

- 我能搞定制作它们。

- Can you handle taking care of them?

- 你能搞定照顾他们吗？

'Cause if not, then keep on moving.

因为如果不是，那就继续前进。

- I don't know if my wife would approve, but how do you feel about that?

- 我不知道我老婆会不会同意，但你觉得怎么样？

- Well, what are you doing?

- 那，你在干什么？

Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.

等会儿，等会儿，等会儿，等会儿，等会儿。

He got a wife?

他有老婆了？

- I'm saying she's open though.

我是说她很开放。

We live open.

我们生活得坦诚。

- You gonna keep that open stuff over there?

- 你打算把那边的开放式东西保留着吗？

It's closed.

它已经关闭了。

This is closed.

此帖已关闭。

- Oh, now it's closed?

- 哦，现在关了？

- Yes.

-是的。

- So I can't get nothin'?

- 所以我什么都捞不着？

- I'm not into open relationships.

- 我不喜欢开放式关系。

- You was open a minute ago.

- 你刚才还开着呢。

- Ooh, boy.

- 哦，天啊。

- Talk to me.

- 跟我聊聊。

Oh now it's "Karate Kid".

哦，现在成了“小子”。

- Yes, yeah.

- 是的，嗯。

- Yeah, no, no, no.

- 是的，不，不，不。

- It was nice to try this mock trial dating thing.

尝试这种模拟约会挺有意思的。

Maybe, I didn't start with a joke.

也许，我一开始并没有讲笑话。

I tried to keep him more serious.

我试图让他更认真一些。

- That was serious?

- 那是认真的？

(audience laughs) Thank you man.

（观众笑声）谢谢你，伙计。

Appreciate it.

感激它。

- Jordan, come on over.

- 乔丹，过来一下。

Let's give it another shot.

让我们再试一次。

(audience applauds) - Hi.

（观众鼓掌）- 你好。

- How're you doing?

- 你最近怎么样？

- Good good, how are you?

- 好好，你怎么样？

- Good, you have beautiful eyes.

- 很好，你的眼睛很漂亮。

- Oh thanks, so do you?

- 哦，谢谢，你也是吗？

- Thank you.

- 谢谢。

- Why don't you say we get out here and grab a drink somewhere else.

- 你说我们出去，在别的地方喝一杯怎么样。

- I'm doing good here, what's the difference?

- 我在这儿挺好的，有什么区别？

- You sure?

- 你确定？

- Yeah, I'm great.

- 嗯，我很好。

- We can have fun, we can have a good time.

- 我们可以玩得开心，可以度过一段美好时光。

- Is there something different somewhere else?

- 别的地方有什么不一样吗？

- Tell her you're 12.

- 告诉她你12岁。

(audience laughs) - That's too far.

（观众笑）- 这就过头了。

That is too far.

那太离谱了。

(everyone laughs) - Look, thank you man.

（ everyone laughs ） - 看，谢谢兄弟。

- Yes sir.

- 是的，先生。

- Let me talk to the ladies.

我来跟两位女士聊聊。

Y'all come over.

你们都过来吧。

(audience applauds) Okay, now first of all, you're two very, very nice people.

（观众鼓掌）好的，首先，你们俩都是非常非常好的人。

- Thank you.

- 谢谢。

- Every woman should have two lists.

- 每个女人都应该有两张名单。

You wanna have everything you love to have in a man and then you gotta have a list of what you will absolutely not accept in a man.

你想要一个男人拥有你所爱的一切特质，然后你还得列一张清单，列出你绝对不能接受的一个男人的哪些缺点。

Then when you meet a man I want you to just start checking off stuff.

那么当你遇到一个男人时，我希望你开始逐一核对条件。

There is no man living that is going to complete the what I want list.

没有一个男人能完全符合我列出的所有要求。

He does not exist.

他并不存在。

You ladies, all you have to do is determine is it a deal-breaker?

两位女士，你们需要做的就是判断这是否是不可接受的。

Here's the way you know it's a deal-breaker.

这就是你知道它是分手条件的方式。

If this list of what you love to have does not outweigh the list of what you don't want, you can walk away today, don't even waste your time.

如果你喜欢的东西列表比不上你不想要的东西列表，那你今天就可以走了， 根本不必浪费时间。

You can't fix no man that's in that bad of shape.

你没法拯救一个糟糕到那种程度的人。

So what you wanna do is you just wanna get him to check off some of the blocks and then you two would be fine.

所以你们要做的是让他满足一些条件，然后你们俩就会相处得很好。

Your attractive girls, there's nothing wrong with you.

你们是迷人的女孩，你们没有任何问题。

You're just going about it the wrong way.

你只是方法不对罢了。

(audience applauds) I just want you to go about it the correct way.

（观众鼓掌）我只是希望你们能正确地去做。

Thank you ladies, thank you all for being here.

谢谢各位女士，感谢大家的到来。

- Thank you.

- 谢谢。

- I wish you the best.

- 祝你好运。

Hey, you made it to the end of this video.

嘿，你已经看完了这个视频。

I got a lot more that you're gonna enjoy.

我还有很多你会喜欢的内容。

So just click to watch the next one and make sure you subscribe to always know what's happening.

所以只要点击观看下一个视频，并确保你订阅了，以便随时了解最新动态。